Welcome to the second in a series of collected reviews for films I either expected more of and felt disappointed by, or films I watched against my better judgement, suspecting they would be no good all along. For clarification and in full disclosure I did not actually watch all 3 as a triple bill – no one can take that much pain! Rather, I am grouping them together, because they don’t deserve their own one page reviews. Enjoy the badness, and do leave comments if you disagree.
I really enjoyed the original and far better Zombieland. It felt like a fun new take on a tired genre, it had a cast and director that cared and made it work, and it had that amazing Bill Murray section. Surprisingly, because it feels like yesterday, it took 10 years to make a sequel, by which time all the best ideas along these lines have been used up, everyone is older, wiser and less energetic (including the writers, who are also the same guys). It looks like they are trying to act like it’s fun, but no one has their heart in it, especially Emma Stone, who 100% phones in an uncharacteristically lacklustre performance. It is all just the same jokes, the same beats and the same ideas, only worse in every case. The character of Maddison, played by Zoey Deutch, attempts to create a new angle but is more annoying than funny. It is more or less watchable, I guess. But probably only once.
Decinemal Rating: 62
I am sure the pitch for this sounded pretty good. It is the Ocean’s franchise but with all women. What on earth could possibly go wrong? Well, the script for starters. And the sleepy direction. The normally fairly dependable Gary Ross guilty on both fronts. Although there are some nice scenes and moments in isolation (usually involving Helena Bonham- Carter, who comes out of it all best, because at least she’s funny), it is all far too pedestrian and lacks momentum. A very easy film to fall asleep during, which for a heist movie is a problem! The talent on display is largely wasted, even though in a way they all come out of it with dignity and reputation intact. One other light I took from it was thinking Rihanna as the kooky “Nine Ball” showed some potential for being a decent screen actress, which pleasantly surprised me. Again, it is just about worth watching once, but has to go down as a botched job on the whole.
Decinemal Rating: 64
There is a group of comic book fans that like this film, and defend its virtues. I could never be true friends with any of those people. One look at James Wan’s directing CV and I should have known it wouldn’t be for me. Several of the most generic “horror” movies of the last few decades, plus a pop at the diabolical Fast & Furious franchise. Oh, dear god, no! I went in with an open mind, but 30 minutes of frantic chaos (and the editing of a six year old left to punch the computer with a toy truck) later and I was completely exasperated by it all. It was all I could do to force myself to finish it, and it took three sessions to do so. The wonderful Willem Dafoe and the often glorious Nicole Kidman try hard, but look embarrassed to be involved in the main. Whereas Patrick Wilson comes across as… just weird! Jason Mamoa should have a future in either films starring The Rock or films that want to be films starring The Rock. After this travesty of cinema and wasted money it’ll take a lot to make me remotely interested. Avoid at all costs.
Decinemal Rating: 57
See you soon for the next Bad Movie Triple Bill… there are a lot of stinkers out there!
The Wasteland 